Around six months ago, I finally ended an emotionally abusive relationship that I had stayed in for about two years. It’s a long story, but essentially a relationship that had started out bearable quickly became extremely unhealthy. I stayed in this relationship for far too long and put up with far too much than I should have. During this time, my brain trained itself to believe that everything about myself was invalid. I started to think that nothing I said or thought was right, and that I was physically appalling. This was due to the emotional abuse I had to deal with, which I do not wish to discuss specifically. This post is going to explain how I overcame and am still overcoming those hardships.
There was a point towards the very end of the relationship when I couldn’t take the abuse anymore, and I cut it off. This took a lot of courage, but I had to be mindful and consider if I wanted to be happy in the future or spend my life miserable. After the relationship had ended, I struggled (and still am struggling) to regain confidence and be myself again. In the relationship that I was in, my partner didn’t care about who I truly was and wanted me to do only the things he liked. I slowly felt my personality being drained away. I soon found that the key to overcoming these obstacles was mindfulness.
One of the most mindful activities to me is writing, which is something that I have always turned to during difficult times. Writing allows me to focus on the task at hand and be in the present moment while observing passing thoughts. After my relationship, I wrote a lot about my experiences in my journal, which helped me to overcome the trauma. I try to write daily just to clear my mind. I don’t just write about my bad relationship either. I write about good things and things that interest me. I am learning to be myself again. My soul is coming back swiftly.
Another mindful activity I love is conversation. In the last six months I have opened up to a few of those who I trust the most about my relationship and personal insecurities. It’s nice to get everything off of your chest without the fear of being judged or judging yourself. Talking and just letting your words flow can be so relaxing.
I talk about this in another post, but origami is one of my favorite mindful activities. In the last six months, I have learned many new origami techniques. Finishing them successfully makes me feel proud of myself, which had become a rarity while I was in my last relationship. The practice of origami can be extremely calming and very rewarding if you allow yourself to submit to the craft.
Mindfulness can also be practiced while doing every day activities such as hanging out with friends or even washing the dishes. We tend to think about everything that might go wrong in the future, when we could be focusing on the here and now. This general practice of mindfulness is difficult to master. It comes with much practice and will eventually be a natural thing. I try to work on this every day. Recently, a person came into my life who has helped me to be in the present moment. Gradually, I am becoming more confident with myself and content with who I am. Each day, I become more mindful.
I hope this was interesting for you guys to read. Below are some links explaining the complexities of emotional abuse.